Interview Quotes

Navigating Scrutiny and Objectification

"it is the habit of the culture of the world to put women in their place by attacking their physical being even after you went to princeton and harvard law school you were in the white house doing things like combating child obesity and advocating for girls education the haters still chose to focus on your arms and your hair"

— Michelle Obama • 01:26:11

"So I understood it as campaign tactics. I could separate it out and go, well, this, yeah, this is politics, right? It's like, what better way to beat a moving engine is to try and slow it down. And so with women, what do we do with women? We start sort of talking about their strength and their so then I became, I was angry, not passionate. I was a misogynist. I wasn't joking about my husband and humanizing him, right? I wasn't athletic, I was scary, scarily muscular, right? So it, it was, it was a rolling thing, and I attributed it totally to politics."

— Michelle Obama • 01:31:22

Fashion as a Strategic Tool

"So, let's lean in. Let's lean in with what we do. Let's make sure that we have a plan and a strategy in place for how fashion, just like everything we did in the White House, would have meaning and impact."

— Michelle Obama • 01:45:06

Compromise and Self-Preservation

"Look, life is full of compromises, just period, right? I mean, some of what I always say is that you've got to pick and choose your battles. We all do. And the personal question becomes, where are you in life? If you're a young woman that needs a job to pay off her loans and to, and it's your first job, and you have less leverage than I do as the former First Lady to wear what you want and have this empowerment and say what you want to do, like, my advice to young girls is first of all, make sure you can pay your rent."

— Michelle Obama • 01:53:03

The Burden of Being a Woman

"You know, my husband wasn't doing that. Same suit, put on blue suit, black, white shirt, different tie. You know, I mean, we're on a trip where there's 8,000 things happening in one day. You know, we're on a safari and then we're at a meeting and then, you know, even the way they structure the day, it's like, this is a man's schedule. You know, and all he has to do is take off his tie, unbutton the top button, take his jacket off, now he's casual. Now he can talk to kids. Now he's at a meeting at the UN, throws that jacket back on. And I'm following around. And it's like, I get heels and flats and cobblestones and sweaters and blazers and tops and skirts that are too short. And now you can't stoop. That's me. But that's all of us. So there's so many, there's so much work that I think we do. It so easily as women. It is just a part of waking up. And it is a lot of work. And I want us all to start owning that it is a lot of work and that it does take strategy."

— Michelle Obama • 02:00:29

The Power of Friendship and Self-Worth

"The thing that I want the listeners to know, young women, is that the value of cultivating friendships is important. It's as important as the job title and the salary or the dude you're trying to catch or the length of your veil on your wedding dress. Like that all that stuff comes and goes. I don't even remember. I remember my wedding. You know, I have the pictures. It was a wonderful day. But my friendships, those relationships are important."

— Michelle Obama • 02:10:53

The Unattainable Goal of Perfection

"Get off the phone. I really do. It's like, it's a habit. It's not a need. And I'm not saying get rid of it. I'm just saying you've got to get off of the phone and start investing in your real-life stuff and experience."

— Michelle Obama • 02:16:53

The Demonization of Aging Women

"The truth is that, like, my 60s are the best time of my life. That's all. It's the canary in the coal mine. I'm just telling you ladies, girls, it gets better and better and better. You know? Yeah, the youth and your skinny waist when you're 20, yeah, but you have no money, you don't know what to do with it. I mean, it's like, man, it's, it's hard. You're confused all your 20s and 30s. And I'm just telling people, you're right, yes, it's confusing and it feels painful, but it gets better."

— Michelle Obama • 02:28:34

Embracing Multiple Identities

"What I've come to learn is that this, can you have it all? Yes. Not at the same time. And I think that we beat ourselves up because here's what I... There are a lot, a lot of women who are listening, a lot of women, period, who I will call 120 percenters. That means that just showing up means we're not just showing up, we're excelling because we've always had to do that to get a seat at the table. We have to be smarter and brighter. And we kind of do because if you slip up, you know, you don't necessarily get a second chance or the benefit of the doubt. Or so we've been trained to do that. So now we're operating like that and trying to do it with everything that we're doing. And 120% plus 120% plus 120% adds up to crazy and a mental breakdown. Exactly."

— Michelle Obama • 02:36:45

Prioritizing Self-Fulfillment

"I think it starts with the subliminal messages that we send our girls. And I'm really, I have two beautiful daughters, and you find yourself slipping up and going, are you dating anyone? You know, it's like, let me not make that the first question or the second question or a question at all. Like, let me, you know."

— Michelle Obama • 02:50:02

Challenging Societal Norms in Relationships

"Fortunately, it was one of the things that drew me to him. You know, like I didn't have to, I didn't have to change my fundamental self. I think it helped that we started out that summer with me not seeing him as a potential because I was his advisor. And I was like, yeah, no, we're not going to do that. And why? You know, he's cute, but I have a lot of friends. And so I think that helped."

— Michelle Obama • 03:02:58

The Importance of Internal Feelings and Self-Work

"And in the end, it's, I want young listeners to focus more on their internal feelings, their like really instead of what is happening, what the world is telling you to feel. Really start trusting your gut and building that internal gut of how you feel about other people, how you feel about yourself. Because I think in the end, the work is still within. Like, the only thing you really can control is you in this world."

— Michelle Obama • 03:06:11

The Power of Evolving and Continuous Growth

"And I think that that is the power that we have as women is that we know we have to keep evolving. And so we do. A lot of men don't. They don't. It's so true. They're just like, here and proud of it, right? Because I've worn these same pants for 20 years. It's like, don't say that. Like, that's not cool. It's not, it's not impressive."

— Michelle Obama • 03:13:19

The Challenge of Outspoken Women

"So as I'm talking to younger women, it's like, understand how people are going to come at you. You know? And then think about how you want to deal with that, because it's not going to go away."

— Michelle Obama • 03:24:23

Playing the Game for Impact

"The game is to get the power to have impact, to broaden the aperture of what is possible. But when we do have the power, if we're still perpetuating the game, then you're a problem and not improving it."

— Michelle Obama • 03:32:27

The Need for Male Allies

"So we can't lump men into a category, right? Because there are a lot of allies. You know, they're different from us, that, you know, we can joke, it's like, yeah, you're not that good at that and you're, you know, but I have, I've grown up with wonderful men who, the men in my life may help me with this confidence."

— Michelle Obama • 03:40:01

Going High: Strategy Over Emotion

"Going high means that we are working strategically towards that goal with a plan and some objectives. And it's not purely emotional, right? That doesn't mean that emotions don't exist because they do. I do feel anger, I do feel pain and hurt. But if my anger is leading and it doesn't work, then what are we doing now? I'm just indulging myself now. I'm just having a tantrum."

— Michelle Obama • 03:46:45

The Long Arc Towards Justice

"The arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice. It means that you don't get to the place in a straight, direct route. That there bends and curves along the way. And we may be in a time where we're experiencing a bit of a bend, a bit of a dip, but we're still moving forward. And that is true. That's not like that's factual."

— Michelle Obama • 04:04:00

Repairing Division and Building an Inclusive Future

"You know, I think more people are starting to be outspoken about it and realizing, is this what we? You know, and a lot of people are like, I didn't sign up for this. That is us speaking. That is us, you know, that's our real hearts kind of coming to the fold. I'd like to think."

— Michelle Obama • 04:16:59

The Relaying of a Baton

"It's a marathon. It's a relay race. I'm passing the baton to you, my friend. And you can do it."

— Michelle Obama • 04:28:43